HellsySinsinJay

Raannttt because it is badly needed

…Augh I just dont feel good at all anymore… got really pissed off earlier ‘cause my mams a bitch about shit. She has this rule that if I go to my friends house my friends has to come over to mine, she still can’t grasp the concept that YES THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH OUR HOUSE,  have 2 irritating assholes for brothers who can’t mind their own business when my friend comes over. Also I sleep over there more because her house is like my stress relief, her mam is so damned kind ;u;” My mam won’t let me go to my friends house tomorrow over the fact the last time she came up her dad called her when he was coming to pick her up, she didn’t have a choice in the subject :I

Anyways a lot of my teachers think I’m not working in school, especially my maths and english teacher. Basically just everyone thinks I can do better than what I got in the mock exams …

Sorry but if I say I’m trying my fucking best, I am trying my fucking best. Im trying my best to improve with subjects I have failed, which so far is just Maths…

I came home today and my mam started bitching about me even bothering getting maths grinds , she was saying that there was no point going because the man would probably just laugh at my results. WELL THANKS FOR THE FUCKING SUPPORT LIKE.

The only teachers that seem remotely happy with my results is my French and Home Economics/Science teacher :I

Anyways my English teacherr told me today that I should start working ‘cause he knows I haven’t been … Im sorry, since when do you know what I do when I go home ? I do my homework and I study shit, so don’t tell me Im not learning anything that you give us to learn off. I am so fuck off, Im working to the best of my ability , stop contradicting yourself btw. Don’t tell us that we can write about Shylock if we don’t remember quotes for Antonio then complain when nearly everyone does Shylock, and stop contradicting yourself when you say “Quality not Quantity ” then complain about the amount I have written for answers, I spents the suggest amount of time on each fucking question so go to hell.

My maths teacher said I should try do higher maths until the point I can’t do it anymore.

BTW FRIEND IN MATHS CLASS WHO MAY NEVER READ THIS, STOP SAYING YOU CANT FUCKING DO MATHS, YOU DID BETTER THAN ME SO STFU.

And Do-fucking-vile stfu with your retardedness. I mean seriously, don’t stare at me for a minute when I say “I got 17% ” as if I was stupid or something, and then have the cheek to say ” That’s a good mark” I CAN TELL WHEN YOU ARE BEING A BITCH OKAY ? JUST BECAUSE YOU GOT A PASS. GO AWAY , FUCK OFF AND STOP ASKING ABOUT MY RESULTS.

Hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggghhhhhhh

So many suicidal thoughts today :I I was crying on my bed for an hour straight over this bullshit. I know it’s not shit I should cry over but My Parents expect me to get A’s  as does every teacher in my school, then they complain about me getting a B in a test. I hate getting told to work harder and start learning, I am one of the few in my year that rarely fails any tests. SO DON’T TELL ME I NEED TO LEARN IF I AM ALREADY CAVED INSIDE MY ROOM FOR 2 HOURS DOING HOMEWORK AND STUDY !?

vsadgfhdgfhgdjlf

god I was really bad today, had thoughts about actually overdosing on prescribed drugs today ;A;” I didnt do it ‘cause Im chicken shit.

Anyways I dont lead a good life really, never have, I have assholes for brothers, get bullied quite often , and I am pretty much a loner… I also feel as though m friends don’t like that often, specially if I say something and one tells me to shut up … just kinda ruins my whole day.

One girl in my class is a chronic liar, and terrible at it. I want to punch her because she constantly tells people stupid rumours about me being a lesbian, I don’t know if Im straight or not :I I just say Im undecided , either that or bi …

Bullshit like that has been building up on me over the past 3 years, people in my year have nast personalities, are manipulative and chronic liars. The few I get along with are not like that.

Anyways just really depressed/having suicidal thoughts again/just hating how my life has gone to the dogs lately.

Don’t worry I just really needed to vent , I’m not looking for sympathy so please try avoid giving me any <3

I actually can’t stand sympathy , It actually makes me feel worse :U